are you experiencing neediness?

I feel like every post I add the disclaimer “you might not like this post”, honestly I don’t know why I write that because I love everything I write.

I can. I will. I win.

The other day, I got needy. I felt needy, I kind of expressed the neediness, however I am not talking about the action of neediness. Its actually not as harmful as you think, its just if neediness consumes so much of you and your ‘suitor’ it can be extremely unattractive without a doubt. It will sabotage your current situation and it will get out of hand.

PS. You can’t ‘fix’ it with controlling it.

First of all, you’re just a person. You’re going to feel needy. I notice this neediness comes up at a certain point of getting to know a person, it comes up when you are beginning to develop fears.

You’re never safe – no matter how attractive you are, how lovely you are, that person is in the driver seat of you crashing into a big fucking fear.

That person only sits in the driver seat because you want them to be the person driving though.

Most likely you are in the same position for them too, because they want you there.

vulnerability at its finest! 

Human interaction is kind of fucked, you kind of need to play your cards right to be seen as an ideal.

right?

Yeah but also no.

Really, you just need to have faith.

Yep, i said it. Faith. Literally… Faith. The universe, god – whatever.

why? because it is a really useful concept – something out of your control. Having faith means, you have let it go already. Having faith means, you already know you cannot control people and you cannot control every aspect of your life.

It is a concept very successful entrepreneurs use as well. When they face the biggest roadblocks, and disasters – they turn to faith. Having faith means, they already understand that they cannot control the outcome, they can only put in their hard-work, commitment and persistence and BELIEVE it will happen because they believe in themselves, and where they are meant to be.

love and compassion

chloe

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How to be the ultimate heart breaker aka femme fetale

I love it, don’t you? how humans are fascinated and amused by evil. I fucking love it. We’re so bizarre. I love it.

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let me guess – you’re here for one of three reasons,

  1. You’re curious as to whether I am a heart-breaker or some kind of femme fetale. A curiosity I am going to allow to exist.
  2. Or… perhaps, you actually might like to know how you can become a heart-breaker.
  3. Or you’re curious because the title sounds like this could be interesting.

So this post isn’t going to be about me, but it is going to spoon feed those who fit in category 2 and 3.

This post is relevant for those who are females.

*A heart-breaker male usually (not always) has different characteristics.

Okay, so in order to survive in this society… to some degree we have to remain closed off and seem ‘un-feeling’. Unfortunately it is a truth that exists.

In relationships, the opposite is required. To be good at love, affection and intimacy we must choose to have the ability to be vulnerable – to reveal past hurt,  desires, and your tenderness.

But if we aren’t vulnerable… what are we?

Well, two oppositions are: Avoidance (coldness) or Anxious (control)

A heart-breaker, is usually the individual who uses avoidance.

She will remain cold, never need her admirers reassurance, she may cheat to display she doesn’t need her admirer, or to actually get attention from her admirer. Feelings? She’ll insinuate her thoughts are elsewhere.  A heart-breaker gives the impression she doesn’t care for feelings, or feelings don’t matter to her. She might even use the term “I don’t catch feels”.

“feels” = shame.

A heart-breaker or femme fetale, is a fraud however. A fraud to herself.

As in… what she craves so deeply is love and affection. The act of being reserved and cold is the covering of her fear to ask or assert or acknowledge her deepest desires.

Heart breakers aren’t usually heart-breakers, they are scared and under-loved individuals. So if you clicked on this to know if you  wanted to be a heart-breaker, or you are a heart-breaker or resonate with any of this content – you must know.

This avoidance  reflects your disbelief in yourself, and that you need people to believe in you in order for you to believe in your worth and value as a person. However, this is a self fulfilling prophecy and is a catastrophe waiting to happen.

Not with age, but with time we must come to realise that we don’t need people to have faith in our character, because that is a conception that will never be fully fed. What we do need is to have faith in ourselves and who we truly are and what we truly desire is nothing to be ashamed of.

love and compassion,

chloe

ps. check this out:

Tom Rosenthal – She Don’t Care (official video)

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No, other people’s words about you do not define you.

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Today, I already tried to write this post. Then I just drifted into day dream, thinking about probably things that were wasting my ability to create anything. I was probably doubting myself, doubting who I am. Doubting whether I am good enough. Considering that there is something very wrong with me, and even for a second perhaps believing it.

I don’t know where to begin other than, anything you say to someone they have already thought about it. Anything you say to me, I have already thought about. So whatever you say to me, I already knew the answer.

Today, before starting writing this I was going up a escalator in a shopping centre. I felt dizzy, I felt lost, I felt a little in a daze really. I told myself, under my breath – there must be something wrong with me.

Maybe my happiness isn’t real.

Maybe I am a fool.

narcissistic.

Selfish.

A bitch. Oh boy, the amount of times I’ve heard that word lately.

Whats new, chloe’s a bitch.

I’m selfish, I’m inconsiderate, I’m rude, abrupt.

Yes. I thought. There is something wrong with me.

Then I thought, what a load of fucking bullshit. I am not, the words that people have used to define me.

I mean, I am probably barely the words I use to define me. I’m just a human, I am probably all of the words you can think of and more. All the words I can think of and more.

The words do not make me who I am though.

People are going to not like you Chloe A Garrett.

People are not going to like your boundaries.

People are not going to like your communication approach of choice.

People are going to think you’re selfish when you are thinking about your self.

People are going to think you are rude when you do something rude, but really what they don’t see is the thoughts in your mind that are screaming “I HOPE THEY DONT THINK I AM RUDE”.

See, I am not ever going to say I don’t care what people think of me. Well from now on… Its just simply not true. I care a lot, I care probably too much.

What I am going start saying is,

Other peoples perspective of me will never be an accurate representation of me.

and that works exactly the same for you too babe.

ciao.

ITS MINDFUL (2)

5 things women might not aknowledge are normal about their bodies

Self love and acceptance is such an important part of self growth. There is a misconception that in order to grow we must change, then accept ourselves at our ideal state. No No No… It is about accepting ourselves as we change in all of our states and chapters in life.

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Ok pal… lets just get this one out the way…

Weight fluctuation.

During your life time, you’re going to have a lot of different body types and all of them are completely normal. Women have a lot of hormonal changes throughout their life, including just before your period.

These hormonal changes cause changes in metabolism, changes in water retention and changes in appetite.

This is normal. Your weight fluctuation is normal.

You can live a normal and happy life embracing your hormonal cycles and different body types instead of trying to control it. I know you’ve tried to defeat this, every woman has.

Peach Fuzz.

I don’t care what you do with your hair, but honestly its worth mentioning because this society doesn’t need to have any judgement when it comes to a little hair on your body.

I am extremely feminine, and I kind of come off high maintenance at times.

But fuck me, I do not have the fucking time to shave my fucking knees and thighs in order to be the sensory output of a dolphin. I hardly shave my legs. Which is weird, because I actually shave my nipple hairs… Also if I looked hard enough I probably have a mustache.

Peach fuzz, and body hair is normal.

Stretch marks, Scars, freckles, acne, eczema

Fun fact I am flawed!

I have scars, freckles, stretch marks, acne and moles!

Its normal to have these things, its unique too but it is not abnormal.

Do not be ashamed of your skin and its stories, textures, and inflammation.

None of it is gross, or unattractive.

I have all these things and people compliment my skin very often.

A TUMMY

A tummy protects your internal organs, everyone has a tummy.

I like my tummy, I think it is cute, sometimes it is bloated and I still wear crop tops.

Your tummy doesn’t just exist to be visually pleasing, your tummy is your sanctuary for food and nutrition. That is beautiful, feed your tummy even if you are wearing a bodycon dress later that evening… You don’t need to fast for a dress. Your tummy is very flattering. 🙂

Your body isn’t all you have to offer.

Your awareness, conciousness, mind and interlect are also what you have to offer.

Your wittiness, charm, assertiveness and activism is also what you have to offer.

You are not just a body, you are also a person.

You deserve to be heard and listened too, and celebrated as you are, not only by others but by yourself too.

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How to ease difficult feelings and emotions

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Someone asked me the other day, How do I ease unwanted feelings.

Okay so first of all, you’re a human! MAJOR congratulations for being a part of the species on Earth that is the most developed in understanding the universe, also destroys rain forests, psychologically manipulates and torments other humans oh and bullshits their way through a social construct to their own  death.

No but seriously. On a tender note, you’re a human. One of the elements of being is that you feel. That is one of the gifts of our conditioning. We empathize, we love, we feel happiness, excitement, pleasure – all those wonderful things. That also means you’re going to feel the uneasy feelings too. All the feelings you feel, are justified and valid human emotions. You don’t need to – and mustn’t feel the need to not value and harness these strong emotions.

ANYWAY,

I dedicated I bit of extra time to this topic to create a free guide for you that may help you with actually easing your difficult emotions. There are healthy ways to do it, and it can help you make your life more productive. Its easy, you can start it immediately and it will help you if you implement the strategy.

Amazingly all I am going to take from you is your name and email, no I don’t send newsletters, and no I don’t really need your name other than I feel it would be nice to be the first woman to take your name. I don’t know why I assumed your name wasn’t already taken?

I just need your email to be able to shoot over your guide. 🙂

So what are you waiting for? Its time to start reading! go go go! It will be emailed to you within 24 hrs. 🙂

ciao. ❤

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